I have one. We all do right?
But tonight, I want to share a VICTORY!
You see, one of my character defects is to isolate myself when I am hurt, upset, or angry. More often than not it affects the people closest to me that had nothing to do with the situation. A good friend of mine calls it Stinkin' Thinkin'.
I just got home from an intense Bible Study at church. It was pushing 10:00 PM and I was sitting on the couch reading a devotional when my husband walked up and asked what I was doing? My response: "I'M READING SOME TRUTH BECAUSE I HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE!"
No hiding, no isolating, no retreating!!! #beboldspeaktruth YAY ME! ❤️ Dear friends, this is a VICTORY for me. My husband allowed me to have "my space" and he gracefully told me he loved me. Thank you Lord for this man who loves me through my highs and lows of life!
Just about an hour earlier I spoke up during our study and said, "If God can make creation with just the sound of his voice, surely he could change each of our situations if he wanted to. He loves us deeply, why wouldn't he? Since we know he has the power to do it yet doesn't, that should send us a STRONG message. Maybe he wants to grow our character, teach us an important lesson, grow our relationship with him or maybe just be a witness to those watching us walk through this difficult season in our lives?" Maybe it's all of the above.
Yes, I said it and God convicted me of it.
As soon as I walked in the door, I started running through everything I had to finish over the next two weeks. I brought work home which still needs to be done. I still have to prepare my notes for two Facebook LIVE Events this Wednesday. I need to finish my speech for Connie' Mom's memorial service this Friday. I need to deliver a livingroom full of clothes, shoes and furniture to a non-profit in Hayward before Saturday which resulted from a two week long "clean out your closet" project. I need to finish my notes for the Online Bible Study my cousin and I are creating before I fly to Washington to shoot the videos in 10 days. I promised my husband I'd have all the financials caught up at work through June before I left for Washington. I have to make sure my car is clean inside and out with a full tank of gas by 8:00 AM for our Sales Manager to use for the next three days, take a shower and blow dry my hair tonight just in case I oversleep so I'm not late dropping off my car, set aside time for this Bible Study homework (it's five days a week), practice playing songs on my guitar so I'm ready to lead worship at next week's Bible Study. Finish a huge cloud server integration over the next two days at work. So......I could continue writing the rest but honestly, I'm getting anxious again just writing it.
I know me. I know what makes me vulnerable. I should know better. I also know that when the enemy is working overtime, miracles are around th corner and he knows it!
I've heard it once said, "A thief doesn't steal from empty vaults." I know God is lining up my future. He's been waiting for me to come into agreement and align my will to his. He's been so patient and in a few months, I will have an amazing opportunity to pursue my dreams and witness the promises he's put on my heart so many years ago.
I'm still grieving our dog Bella. We put her down two weeks ago. I miss her terribly. It broke my heart this morning that my husband STILL has three metal bowls line the counter every night for their morning breakfast. We only have two dogs, yet still her bowl sits there. I guess it's kind of like keeping an empty seat at the Christmas table. Still so painful.
I know I get crabby when I'm tired, and tonight I surely am. I went to bed at 3:45 AM. as I finished putting the finishing touches on my closet organization project, and for some reason I thought it was a good idea to grab the three boxes of tangled jewelry and determine which pieces I was going to keep or which ones I would donate. When I walked out of my closet it was 3:30 AM. Why do I do this to myself? Two hours of sleep?
Tonight, I choose to be honest and real. I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I feel discouraged.
But I know what every believer does...... that JOY comes in the morning. His anger lasts for a little while, but then his kindness brings life. The night may be filled with tears, but in the morning we can sing for joy!" - Psalm 30:5
So tonight I pray this prayer below. For he has shown his faithfulness enough to know that when I wake up in the morning, I will have a changed perspective, joy on my face and a NEW song in my heart.
Boldly 4 Him,
UPDATE July 17, 2017 at 11:30 PM
PRAISE REPORT: After I published this blog, I went to go look at my Facebook page and for some reason my iDisciple account posted the song of the week on my page. It's titled, "In over my head."
Coincidence? I don't think so.
Watch the video below and hear the story about why this song was written. The actual video is at the end. Listen for yourself. It's such a beautiful song.
God always meets us exactly where we are doesn't he? I think he wanted me to know he's listening! Thank you Lord for hearing my heart.❤️
Andrea (Andi), is an Author, musician, speaker and Founder of Transcended Ministries. She encourages women to rise above their circumstances and to trust in God's timing. She is involved in Celebrate Recovery and sings on the worship team at her church. Andi believes no hurt is ever wasted and she longs to bring a message of hope and healing as she shares her story of bold faith. Her story includes her struggle with control issues and co-dependency followed by a separation from her husband of twenty-five years. After a year of isolation and being on her own, she watched God bring transformation, healing, and reconciliation.