I have never had a 'green thumb.' I've always wished I did. A few years back, my husband came home to me unloading the car with flowers to plant, and in a playful voice he said, "Oh I see.....more victims!" Sad, but it was true.
Most recently, my husband bought me one of those indoor Aero Gardens for my birthday. You can choose from all kinds of herbs; Thai Basil, Oregano, Cilantro, Dill, etc. I was so excited not to have to buy any more herbs to cook with.
He set it all up, programmed the lights, when they would come on and off. He added the minerals when they were needed, water when it signaled to add more and soon I had my own garden. It grew so quickly that I couldn't seem to use what I had. I would frequently give the herbs to friends that stopped by or bring them to work to share.
Recently, I looked at my little garden and noticed it looked a bit scarce. The leaves were barely hanging on, some had dried up and completely fallen off and others looked twig like. I thought to myself, with the easiest garden on the planet and you still can't keep a plant alive.
I opened up the reservoir and to my discovery there was no water! Not a drop. Well, that explains it. In some way I felt relieved that there was a logical explanation. But as I started to think a little more about it, I was sad. It really was me. It was US!
Isn't that what happens to our marriages when we don't pay attention? When we take for granted that our garden will just grow on its own without any water or food? When our phones, our jobs, our friends and the television become more important than our spouses, our marriages suffer deeply. Our spouses really do need those special minerals to grow too!
What could your mineral of choice be this week?
The second part to this "Seasons In Our Marriage" blog is the not so easy one to fix. It's called the "dome zone" and it's the after-effect.........
When the pods are first placed in the Aero Garden they need to be covered with a plastic dome for the first few weeks or so, until the herbs start to bud. Once they get to be about an inch or so, you can remove the plastic domes and allow the light and nutrients to help them grow.
It made me think about what happens to us individually once those dead leaves start to fall off. We want to try again, to move on, to rise above our hurts, habits and hang ups but somehow we feel this need to have this shield of protection around us and we enter the "dome zone." It's a safe place where no one can hurt us. But what we fail to realize is that although growth can be seen in the beginning, if we don't eventually take of the dome, the herb will eventually strangle itself and it is unable to grow. Sometimes we just need to throw it all out there, remain vulnerable despite our hurt and ask God to work on the heart part!
I once read, "comfort zones are nice places to visit, unfortunately nothing ever grows there." This is true in our marriages too. I can definitely get stuck in the "dome zone," and sometimes it can take me longer to get out than most. Even after 29 years of marriage, we're still growing and I'm still learning how to be the wife God has called me to be.
If you can relate to what you've read, please comment on this blog and share your story. One thing I do know is there is strength in numbers and when people share, you somehow don't feel so alone anymore.
Take joy in knowing that tomorrow is a new day. It's a do-over day! It's another chance to get this season of marriage you are in.........right!
Andrea (Andi), is an Author, musician, speaker and Founder of Transcended Ministries. She encourages women to rise above their circumstances and to trust in God's timing. She is involved in Celebrate Recovery and sings on the worship team at her church. Andi believes no hurt is ever wasted and she longs to bring a message of hope and healing as she shares her story of bold faith. Her story includes her struggle with control issues and co-dependency followed by a separation from her husband of twenty-five years. After a year of isolation and being on her own, she watched God bring transformation, healing, and reconciliation.